After my *final* RE appointment last week, I wrote about how different I feel this time around but I was having a difficult time describing my feelings. I finally figured out a way to put it into words. It came to me at acupuncture last night.
I’m deeply grateful for this 2+ year journey. Sure, it’s been long and painful and frustrating and sad and lonely. But I realized that without this journey I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’m a different person because of it. It’s as if I finally blossomed into who I was always supposed to be. A new me.
I know my husband and I will be better parents because of this journey. And by “better” I only mean compared against the kind of parents we would have been without our struggles. We’ll be more patient and thoughtful. We’ll *will* time to pass by slowly so we can cherish every moment, every new memory.
If I could go back in time at any point along this journey, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing. Of course I wish this wasn’t the path we had to take, but now that we’ve been through it I am so thankful that this was our journey. I’m not mad at it any longer. I’ve accepted it, and only now can I move forward.
Only now am I truly ready to be a mother.