Our Journey

After my *final* RE appointment last week, I wrote about how different I feel this time around but I was having a difficult time describing my feelings. I finally figured out a way to put it into words. It came to me at acupuncture last night.

I’m deeply grateful for this 2+ year journey. Sure, it’s been long and painful and frustrating and sad and lonely. But I realized that without this journey I wouldn’t be who I am today. I’m a different person because of it. It’s as if I finally blossomed into who I was always supposed to be. A new me.

I know my husband and I will be better parents because of this journey. And by “better” I only mean compared against the kind of parents we would have been without our struggles. We’ll be more patient and thoughtful. We’ll *will* time to pass by slowly so we can cherish every moment, every new memory.

If I could go back in time at any point along this journey, I honestly wouldn’t change a single thing. Of course I wish this wasn’t the path we had to take, but now that we’ve been through it I am so thankful that this was our journey. I’m not mad at it any longer. I’ve accepted it, and only now can I move forward.

Only now am I truly ready to be a mother.

16 responses to “Our Journey

  1. A

    I feel the same way. I am grateful for this journey because it has changed me in alot of very good ways. It has changed our viewpoint as far as children goes, to the extent that it is amazing to us that so many people take their kids for granted.

  2. A

    I am also thankful for our journey. The difficulties and hardship have sucked, but they have changed in alot of good ways. Ways that I think will help me to appreciate and love our children in so much more deeper ways than if I never had to try for them…

  3. A

    Okay. I don’t think your comments are working! I just left two and they are not showing up!

  4. I hope I can get where you are. I know I will be a better parent for all I’ve been through, I know it’s the struggle that has changed me. But I still can’t appreciate the journey. 😦

  5. That was extremely moving and very well written. I feel like that too.

    We’ll get there! it’s just a matter of time and then we’ll be the best parents…ever!

  6. A

    Someone else with a wordpress blog told me that my comments this morning were flagged as “spam”…. is that the case with you? I promise I left one (and then another variation on that because I forgot to copy it!!)!!!

  7. I agree that in the end this will make us all a little stronger, a little more patient, and a little more appreciative of what we have. But personally, if I had the choice, I would have gotten pregnant 2 years ago. This journey has brought too much heartbreak. Good for you for coming to terms with your experience.

  8. Kel

    So beautiful and honest. Your baby is going to be one lucky sprout. I wouldn’t change a single moment of my IVF either. Life gives us only what we can handle, and I’m a much stronger person because of it.

  9. That’s a beautiful post. I envy your ability to accept all that’s happened and have no doubt you will be a wonderful mother.

  10. It sounds like your in a great place. good luck!

  11. jules g

    What a wonderfully positive outlook. Your baby is going to be so lucky to have you both as parents! I love you!

  12. love this post. i too try to look at this journey as a path that will only bring great things and help me be the best i can be, and my DH and I the best couple we can be 🙂

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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