New Growth

Last night I dreamed that I was watering a bunch of flowers and seedlings. Probably a good sign, right? Today is sad and disappointing, but tomorrow there’s hope and the start of new life. Tomorrow there is sunshine.

This morning my doctor said to definitely discontinue meds. I’m a little disappointed at how yesterday was handled. The doctor seemed pretty sure this pregnancy wasn’t viable at the ultrasound in the morning and said I should discontinue all meds. Later in the day when the nurse called to say my beta had actually risen a bit, she said to continue meds. So confusing. Thankfully I can now stop the meds and hopefully the miscarriage will begin soon. I have no idea what to expect.

It’s weird that I had a decreasing beta on Monday and then a slightly increasing beta on Thursday. I think we can attribute that to the fact that Monday’s beta was taken at a different lab. The pregnancy is certainly not viable at this point, but the down/up thing seems fishy to me. It should really only be decreasing at this point.

The plan is to go in on Monday for beta #7 and another ultrasound. Fingers crossed that my numbers are dropping. (Never thought I’d say that.)

P.S. Yesterday, the day that we found out that we’re not actually having a baby (this time), marked four weeks since the transfer that got us our first ever BFP. I am so looking forward to putting this behind us, but I suspect I won’t be able to until the miscarriage is complete. I am excited to look ahead to tomorrow. I’m looking forward to a new BFP with a baby that mother nature wants to stick around.

5 responses to “New Growth

  1. hey girl – i’m pissed i haven’t seen your last posts bc my blogroll wasn’t updating correctly.

    i’m soooooooo sorry :o( i hope you’re okay, and i’m sending a great big *hug*. what’s the saying, “3rd time’s a charm?” … wishing you great things for the FET in june. what a great bday present that would be :o)

  2. I think that dream would have definitely encouraged me!! I continue to pray for you as you anticipate your miscarriage (hug). You seem like you’re very strong! I know God has great plans for your family- what a role model mother you will be!!

  3. Hillary

    I am so, so sorry you are facing a miscarriage. My heart breaks for you! I, too, am hopeful for tomorrow and that you WILL be a mom. ((hugs))

  4. *hugs* I am so sorry. That is weird that you were getting conflicting messages from your office. I will be thinking about you at your next beta.

  5. rachied

    Gutted, must have missed your last post, sorry to hear this little one didn’t stick 😦 big hugs xxx

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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