Then boy do I have the product for you! (WTF?!)
My New Pink Button ™ is a temporary dye to restore the youthful pink color back to your labia.
Yes, you read that right.
Haha, this review is great!
Ladies, we all know that we are nothing unless we can catch a man and keep him. We also know that the fat, balding, underachieving, middle-aged shlub we married will ditch us in a moment for that man-stealing ho Miss Universe if we aren’t superficially perfect at all times. But what to do when we start to look like one of those “normal” women instead of an always-perfect supermodel?
My New Pink Button is the answer! Formulated by a quack manicurist – sorry, I mean a “paramedical esthetician” – My New Pink Button will take off the years, take off the children, and take off the reality! Its patented “natural” “formula” (wink wink) is guaranteed to remove what other, lesser women call “normal vaginal coloration” and replace it with pink perfection! And all this with a minimum of permanent scarring and complete loss of sexual response – but who needs that anyway, sex is for men!
My New Pink Button has never been tested on animals (so if it burns your skin off or causes cancer that’s your problem) and contains twenty disposable applicators (so you’ll be able to fool him twenty times!).
Remember, girls: when your man comes home after a long, hard day of standing around the water cooler telling dirty jokes and ogling the secretaries, he deserves the hottest, most ultra-conformist woman he can find. You owe it to him to be as superficially perfect as you can! Buy My New Pink Button today!