I’ve enjoyed this little “break” of mine very much. Sure, I’ve kept up blogging to a certain degree but I’ve stopped feeling burdened by it. Don’t get me wrong, I love having a blog as a place to vent and share what I’m going through with someone like me. Because lord knows I needed to find people who had blazed the ART trails before me to help calm my fears about the path I was taking. Besides, I’m happy to share what I’m going through and the release I get is so cathartic.

But after a while, I started feeling obligated to reply to comments and leave comments on blogs that I read, not to mention ICLW. I wanted to participate in ICLW because I got so much out of it, but it all started to become overwhelming. After my miscarriage, it got worse. I didn’t want to read about pregnancy announcements – no matter how happy I was that it was finally someone’s turn. I didn’t want to read or comment on anything really.

I was committed but blogging started wearing on me. I was committed because of the kind, warm and supportive comments I received from you. It kept me going! Your words were often what I needed to hear to stay sane. I do not take that for granted for a second, but I felt like I was in this little vortex that kept me focusing on ART more than I probably should have. Now that I’ve stepped back a bit, I am less obsessed with where I am in my cycle. I’m not Googling every single thing (sure, it helps that I’m an old pro by now) and I’m not feeling as much responsibility to my blog or to commenting on yours (please know that I’m totally lurking, though!).

Wanna know how removed I am from this cycle? A week ago Friday I was supposed to pick up my Rx no later than 6:30pm. I work about two trains and 45 mins from the pharmacy. My husband and I rarely talk during the work day, but for some reason we were chatting on the phone around 5:45pm. He asked when I’d be home and I casually said, “My usual time.” It was then he said, “Don’t you have to pick up your prescription?!” OMG, I couldn’t believe I completely forgot about it! I had to call the pharmacy and beg that they wait for me because I had to start the Aygestin that evening. Thankfully, they did wait for me. I was only a couple of minutes late but I still couldn’t believe I dropped the ball. So not me!

Also, the next day my husband made a joke about EWCM and I totally didn’t get it. He had to say it like three times before I got it. Haha, again – so not me!

I think this is a huge sign that I’m finally breaking free of the hold ART has had on me for all this time. And it feels good. I feel refreshed. Plus, I wanted to work on real life relationships which is working out great so far. Remember, I met Sienna from It’s Baby Time in real life? But don’t worry. I don’t plan on going anywhere and I have plenty of backlogged comments to share on your blogs. Thanks for still being there! Xo!

7 responses to “Refreshed

  1. glad you’re back!! excited about your move at the end of the month and for this FET!!! enjoy your last days of not being pregnant!!! xoxo

  2. I think there are alot of people who are in a position where a break from intensively blogging is what they need right now. Or maybe the lack of comments on my blog lately is because without my ttc drama, I am dreadfully boring! HA!! Just kidding (and no, please don’t feel obligated to comment now! Hehe!)! I think there are alot of us who were sort of on the same timeline, and it’s hard for us to read people who are as many weeks pregnant as we should be right now. Hang in there- take your time getting back into the swing of things! 🙂

  3. katery

    i know what you mean, iclw is great and five comments a day doesn’t seem that time consuming but it is, plus i’m one of the people those people that has their baby so most people don’t want to go to my blog and i can’t really blame them, i wouldn’t want to either. even when it’s someone who has struggled with infertility it still stings when someone who is not you gets pregnant.

  4. ilana

    I am glad you are back and have a FET coming up. EVERYTHING is crossed for you!

  5. Welcome back! Can’t wait to cheer you on for the FET! It’s going to be positive and you, Sienna and I will be living proof that sending positive vibes over the internet gets people knocked up. 🙂

  6. You’re the only person I know who’s break was actually a break! So glad you feel refreshed and sane. Good luck with FET.

  7. No need to apologize…i think we all go missing at times, sometimes it is very stressful to keep up with blogging. We all do what we can. I’ll be checking in – and as always as wishing you the best, xoxo

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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