I’ve enjoyed this little “break” of mine very much. Sure, I’ve kept up blogging to a certain degree but I’ve stopped feeling burdened by it. Don’t get me wrong, I love having a blog as a place to vent and share what I’m going through with someone like me. Because lord knows I needed to find people who had blazed the ART trails before me to help calm my fears about the path I was taking. Besides, I’m happy to share what I’m going through and the release I get is so cathartic.
But after a while, I started feeling obligated to reply to comments and leave comments on blogs that I read, not to mention ICLW. I wanted to participate in ICLW because I got so much out of it, but it all started to become overwhelming. After my miscarriage, it got worse. I didn’t want to read about pregnancy announcements – no matter how happy I was that it was finally someone’s turn. I didn’t want to read or comment on anything really.
I was committed but blogging started wearing on me. I was committed because of the kind, warm and supportive comments I received from you. It kept me going! Your words were often what I needed to hear to stay sane. I do not take that for granted for a second, but I felt like I was in this little vortex that kept me focusing on ART more than I probably should have. Now that I’ve stepped back a bit, I am less obsessed with where I am in my cycle. I’m not Googling every single thing (sure, it helps that I’m an old pro by now) and I’m not feeling as much responsibility to my blog or to commenting on yours (please know that I’m totally lurking, though!).
Wanna know how removed I am from this cycle? A week ago Friday I was supposed to pick up my Rx no later than 6:30pm. I work about two trains and 45 mins from the pharmacy. My husband and I rarely talk during the work day, but for some reason we were chatting on the phone around 5:45pm. He asked when I’d be home and I casually said, “My usual time.” It was then he said, “Don’t you have to pick up your prescription?!” OMG, I couldn’t believe I completely forgot about it! I had to call the pharmacy and beg that they wait for me because I had to start the Aygestin that evening. Thankfully, they did wait for me. I was only a couple of minutes late but I still couldn’t believe I dropped the ball. So not me!
Also, the next day my husband made a joke about EWCM and I totally didn’t get it. He had to say it like three times before I got it. Haha, again – so not me!
I think this is a huge sign that I’m finally breaking free of the hold ART has had on me for all this time. And it feels good. I feel refreshed. Plus, I wanted to work on real life relationships which is working out great so far. Remember, I met Sienna from It’s Baby Time in real life? But don’t worry. I don’t plan on going anywhere and I have plenty of backlogged comments to share on your blogs. Thanks for still being there! Xo!