ICLW: July 2010

I wasn’t going to participate in ICLW this month, but here I find myself in a very repetitive situation (BFN land, if you know what I mean) and honestly, I selfishly need the support. I am dealing with this latest BFN okay, I’m just getting tired. Tired of needles. Tired of drugs. Tired of putting my life on hold. Tired of fake drinking. Tired of avoiding foods I love. Tired of rules on my sex life. Tired of seeing everyone else pass me by in the baby department.

But as usual, I will persevere. There is no sense in dwelling in what is not because in this particular case, there’s nothing I can do about the not part. I do believe in my heart of hearts that we will be parents one day. I just can’t believe we were the “1” out of 7 couples who had to be affected by infertility. And on top of that, we have to be one of the mysterious 10% (or is it more?) of unresolved cases. Please, ART, work for us!

Here’s a very brief download on me: just turned 35, married almost 7 years, TTC since January 2008, unexplained, 4 Clomid IUIs, 1 IVF (single embryo transfer), 2 FETs (2 embryos transferred), one blighted ovum after FET #1. We have six embryos left. We’ll put back 3 for FET #3, while we explore second opinions. My WTF appointment is this morning. Wish me luck!

Even with all we’ve been through, I’m not a Debbie Downer so if you’re new here – Welcome! Leave a comment and enjoy (and try not to be offended by) my regular vagina and baby-related content postings.

Posted in vent


Permalink 13 Comments

13 responses to “ICLW: July 2010

  1. I’m here from ICLW. I’m so sorry about your BFN. They totally suck. I hope the next FET goes well for you and your dreams of being a mama come true!

  2. hello from ICLW

    I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. It can be so hard to keep hope alive when we go through so many BFNs

    I hope this next FET brings a baby to your arms.

  3. You really aren’t a Debbie Downer, which is quite amazing….is that because you are an old-timer? It’s heartening, really….good luck at your WTF!!! Let us know the outcome, okay?

  4. Hi,
    I’m here for ICLW. So sorry about the last cycle. 😛 I’m about to embark on my first IVF cycle and I’m scared to death!
    Good luck at your appointment today….

  5. I was nodding along with your post. I’m tired of all of those things, too. And I’m tired of talking about how tired I am of them! I feel like every couple of months, I scream and cry at my husband about how tired I am of going through this. But the only thing worse than going through it? Quitting and not getting a baby. It’s so hard.

    Thinking of you! I know it takes time to crawl out of the BFN bummer.

  6. I am so sorry to read of your recent BFN. I could have said many of the things you shared. I recently was sitting in the waiting room and thought to myself “what the heck am I doing here” I hope that FET #3 is the end of all of this for you with a BFP!

  7. lis

    oh i just want to hug you.

    i hate being that 1/7 too, and don’t even get me started on the preterm labor stats.

    i just feel like an all around loser today.

    sorry, not here from ILCW, but leaving support

  8. Your definitely not a debbie downer. I love the stuff you find on the internet. *hugs*

  9. Ugh, unexplained infertility and BFNs both suck. 😦 I hope this last IVF try you get the BFP you’ve been waiting for!!

    ICLW #91

  10. Sorry about your bfn, i hope you get your bfp soon!

    iclw #50

  11. Me

    I don’t think you’re a debbie downer but honestly who cares if you are? Everyone has those down days and us IFer’s have more of them well because honestly we have more crap to deal with!

    Chin up, smiles and sunshine are just around the corner – promise!

    ~ttc for 11 years
    ~8 miscarriages
    ~still chasing that elusive viable bubba

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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