Thanks for hanging in there with me. I did POAS this morning and I’m pleased to say there were two lines but I’m scared to say that it was super faint. At 11dp. Like I almost thought it was negative faint. I got very faint lines on FRER and EPT +/-. I got not pregnant on a digital CBE (but a faint line when I tore it apart). Yes, I’m to the point where I’m tearing apart tests for extra scrutinizing. There should be no squinting at the line at this point. 16dpo?! Please!
So yeah, now I’m in this weird limbo land. Did it or didn’t it? Is it a chemical? Am I going to miscarry again? Was it a late implanter? Maybe those bad cramps I had the evening of 8dp5dt was late implantation? Will the lines be darker tomorrow? I guess I’ll hold out hope until tomorrow but if the lines aren’t darker, forget it.
[Excuse the expletives.]
This fucking sucks. It’s the worst place to be. It’s not definitive so I’m in fucking limbo until my beta on Tuesday. POASing is evil. I hate this. I know you could say a line is a line, but at 11dp5dt that doesn’t really cut it. Whatever. I’ll continue my meds like a good girl.
What the fuck is wrong with me? FOUR fucking perfect embryos? We even had assisted hatching! I thought we’d have a dark line and our worries would be whether or not more than one took. This mother fucking sucks a big one. I hate you IF. Fuck you.
IVF #2 and thousands of more dollars down the drain, here I come.