FET #3: 11dp5dt

Thanks for hanging in there with me. I did POAS this morning and I’m pleased to say there were two lines but I’m scared to say that it was super faint. At 11dp. Like I almost thought it was negative faint. I got very faint lines on FRER and EPT +/-. I got not pregnant on a digital CBE (but a faint line when I tore it apart). Yes, I’m to the point where I’m tearing apart tests for extra scrutinizing. There should be no squinting at the line at this point. 16dpo?! Please!

So yeah, now I’m in this weird limbo land. Did it or didn’t it? Is it a chemical? Am I going to miscarry again? Was it a late implanter? Maybe those bad cramps I had the evening of 8dp5dt was late implantation? Will the lines be darker tomorrow? I guess I’ll hold out hope until tomorrow but if the lines aren’t darker, forget it.

[Excuse the expletives.]

This fucking sucks. It’s the worst place to be. It’s not definitive so I’m in fucking limbo until my beta on Tuesday. POASing is evil. I hate this. I know you could say a line is a line, but at 11dp5dt that doesn’t really cut it. Whatever. I’ll continue my meds like a good girl.

What the fuck is wrong with me? FOUR fucking perfect embryos? We even had assisted hatching! I thought we’d have a dark line and our worries would be whether or not more than one took. This mother fucking sucks a big one. I hate you IF. Fuck you.

IVF #2 and thousands of more dollars down the drain, here I come.

15 responses to “FET #3: 11dp5dt

  1. *hugs* I am sending you lots of positive thoughts. This is not over yet. Try to stay positive and not too overthink it too much. Did you use first morning pee?

  2. I am crossing my fingers for a darker line tomorrow…sweetie, breathe. I really, really am praying for you darlin 🙂 HUGS. POAS in the morning again and curse your RE for not doing your beta on a holiday weekend. I have an appt Monday morning!! Poop on them. Tentative yay for you!!!

  3. Amy

    We are all still with you. I hate that you have to wait until Tuesday. Stick with your meds and keep us posted tomorrow. Try and get some rest tonight. Praying for you xoxo

  4. KHBetterTogether

    Bummer on not having a nice dark line, IF is an asshole! Don’t count yourself out yet, I know it’s so hard to stay positive but for now you aren’t on to IVF #2 yet, you have had such a great attitude so far!

    Hugs. I really hope the line is darker tomorrow!

  5. I hope it was a late implanter and I really really hope you’ll see a darker line tomorrow. Waiting sucks, but we are waiting with you!

  6. IF is a MF for real. F her and this time F her for real cause you are kickin her ass and are pregnant girl. Hang in there, LOL, i know don’t you loooove to hear THAT one, but do try my friend. Take your meds, relax and Tuesday shall show you, show us all that you kicked the bitch’s ass like a few of us have been so fortunate to do. She needs more ass kickin though… High fiven you and mad hugz from Cairo man xoxoxo

  7. Wait, What?

    Hang in there R! A line IS a line so I have really high hopes for you. IF is a b*tch but you will perservere. Thinking of you and sending hugs and positive vibes.

  8. I was waiting for your post ALL day yesterday. Ugh. I totally understand how you feel. You expected to see a blazing + line and you didn’t. Total suck. I’m crossing my fingers that the little emby or embies that took are just taking their sweet time and that your beta on Tuesday will be positive. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts going your way.

  9. It totally fucking sucks! If IF were a tangible being
    I would kick its ass.
    I remember saying that there really is such a thing as being”just a little bit pregnant” because those HPTs are so inconclusive. BUT, lady youv’e got TWO LINES!! That is awesome! Keep up that amazing, strong spirit of yours and try not to get discouraged. Im thinking of you and hoping so much that this is the one. oxo

  10. I could barely see the line 10 dp 5dt, so much so that my husband told me that I was imagining it and now our little boy is two weeks old. You’re not out yet, I have everything crossed for you!

  11. onefifthfox

    But but but…it was positive, right? I mean faint, yeah, but positive? I mean NO line would be sucky, yeah? Well, I’ll be checking in on you, but I’m excited… xxx

  12. katery

    hoping for a darker line tomorrow… or today!

  13. FYI, I got a fainter line on 15dpo than on 13dpo…it freaked me out, but my levels WERE rising. Those sticks can be a total mind f-.

    Cannot WAIT for your blood test. I am 110% hopeful!! xo

  14. silver

    oh man f’in stupid pee sticks!!!!! but dude a line is a line!!!! if you do decide to retest before tues i hope it gets darker! or are you just going to wait til beta? fingers crossed and many hugs!! xoxo

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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