Grasping At Straws

Yes, this is me in total desperation mode. But go with it, okay? I’m crazy and it’s okay for me to be a little crazy right now.

Here the lines look the same, which is how they look in real life. Sigh. Still, so faint. I hate this.

Click to enlarge

Tomorrow I’ll use up my last EPT and Tuesday morning, I’ll use up my last CBE Digital just to be sure. I’m fresh out of FRERs and I’m not buying more. I have a smidgen of hope still. But only a teeny, tiny smidgen. Right now I have the typical pre-AF headache and cramps.

14 responses to “Grasping At Straws

  1. bir

    Oooooh it does your head in! I’m so hoping for you VV! My HPTs (3) at 1, 13 and 14dpo all had the same line as each other, and it was only slightly darker than yours, and I’m now almost 9 weeks, so don’t give up yet!! Also, hoping… those AF like cramps you’re getting? I was on the look out for those as being ‘implantation’ in the lead up, and then right on 14dpo I got them with no doubt – thought it was all over for sure.

    Don’t want to give you any false hope, but you have two pink lines!! Hang in there… hope the fat lady singing stays away! Do you have a BT scheduled?

  2. lis

    i agree…i had terrible cramps the night before my positive test. thinking of you and hoping tomorrow flies by!

  3. Well, hell.

    A couple days ago I was all ready to beg you to POAS. And now here you are in POAS limbo. If you are not legally but temporaily insane right now, you are a far stronger person mentally than I would be in your same situation. Hang in there. Try to take some comfort in the fact that you DO have 2 lines there, lady! And 2 lines IS positive, dammit!

    (Oh, and thanks for your “stern” comment, mom! I needed a good talking to!)

  4. CW

    I hope the BT comes back with a super high number. Fingers crossed.

  5. Amy

    When I feel like this, I always ask hubby to “sit or lay on top of me.” Fully clothed, but it is like I need a weight on me to keep my grounded and from letting my brain float far, far away. We are here for you. Waiting with you.
    ((Hugs)) and more ((Hugs))

  6. Fingers are crossed sweetie…

  7. shandrea

    Hoping for positive results.

  8. Crossing it all here girl! There are TWO lines, faint or not… beta should come in HIGH… cramps are your little one(s) settling in…. man oh man how I wish they are! Thinking of you and praying, wishing, hoping, begging that this is it! xoxoxox

  9. KHBetterTogether

    I actually think the test from today looks slightly darker? It is still faint but as everyone says it’s still 2 lines. I really hope that there is a nice emby burrowing causing some cramps. I know it’s hard and I would be going nuts.

    Count me in on the AF signs before positive test…

  10. I have been holding out hope for you and I continue to do so. It is definitely 2 lines and appears to be darker in the more recent test. I know this must be agonizing … hang in there … all my fingers and toes are crossed for you!!

  11. I definitely see those 2 lines. And like everyone said, a line is a line. Hopefully, you are just one of those women that do not have high levels of HCG in urine. Your blood test may give you a totally different result! I’m crossing all 10 fingers and all 10 toes for your beta tomorrow!

  12. Wow, peeing on sticks really does mess with your mind! Can’t wait to hear your beta results cause I just don’t trust your home tests anymore. Oh, the suspense! Hang in there!

  13. Kate

    Just took my HPT 11 dp 5dt and it was negative. Sigh. Not even a slight line.

  14. onefifthfox

    My lines were that faint on a FRER in the beginning, and I got the occasional day of “negative” tests as well (which I put down to varying levels of hormone at different times of day/concentrations)…but I was still pregnant! And the ClearBlue tests were the last to turn positive. I’m still hopeful depite all….xxx

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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