Sharing Our News

So we shared our news with our immediate families over the holidays (parents and siblings only) and a few close friends know as well. Besides that, mum is the word. Of course, our mothers are going nuts keeping it in because apparently sharing the news of grandchildren coming soon is awesome. But I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll
ever be ready. I sort of want everyone who knows to forget they know. Does that make any sense at all? I know we’re going to have to eventually tell our extended families — grandparents and aunts and uncles. C’mon, they’ll be so excited for us. But then I want them to forget too. And as far as anyone else in my life goes, I don’t want to tell. Never. Nope. No Facebook announcements. No phone calls or emails. Not because I’m afraid I’ll jinx it but because I’m protective. It’s MY news. Our news. Our babies. If everyone could just be like “OMG, congrats on the birth of your child. I had no idea you were expecting!” then I’d be perfectly happy. I could just surprise the world. I won’t get away with that, will I?

I was hoping I’d be able to wait as long as possible to share our news with my employer but I think my belly has other plans. We’ll see how long I can get away with it. I’d like to wait until February (week 14 or 15) to tell, but that might not be possible. I’m only planning on telling two people on the exec team (we’re a small company so we don’t have HR). Everyone else can just keep guessing. I’m not even telling my officemate. The average age at my company is like 24 so I don’t think pregnancy is on anyone’s mind. I’m sure they’ll just think I’m getting fat which is fine with me. (Did I tell you that I’m the first ever pregnant woman at my company? Yeah, they’ve never dealt with this kind of thing before. Fun times. No maternity leave, but this job also allowed me the flexibility to actually get pregnant with the help of ART so I’ll take what I can get.)

However, when it comes to strangers, I want to tell everyone my news. I’m not as protective with people I don’t know. I want to tell people on the subway, behind the deli counter, the flight attendant, the mom pushing a stroller, the barista, the cashier. I know this makes no sense at all but what can I say? I’m pregnant and hormonal and irrational.

10 responses to “Sharing Our News

  1. i know what you mean! I’m okay talking with strangers selling me magazines at the airport about this, but it still feels very odd/not real/scary/etc etc to tell folks who I’m close with.

    I told my 2 bosses at 12 weeks. The female boss (40 something with two kiddos and I interact with her about a dozen times a day) said she’d been suspecting it for a while. Which made me want to faint from embarrassment. Hold out til your ready!!! xo

  2. Sienna

    Im the same way. Dh wanted tontell immediate fam fam WaY beforre i was ready. Just want to keep it all a secret. Am kinda resentful that i have to be a bridesmaid at 33 weeks and show the freaking world that im pregnant. Grrrrr. And regarding fb, when i found out i was pregnant, i dismantled my wall so that no one could accidentally “out” me. I, too, plan on saying “she’s here!!!” on fb once the time comes!

  3. I understand too. No one will ever, ever understand what this pregnancy means or what these babies will mean. What could be better than this?!! Nothing!

    One of the first people I told was a random clinic nurse who was giving me the flu shot. Admitting it was such a HUGE deal for me at that point and she had no reaction. She was so not worthy of the knowledge!

  4. Amy

    Exactly!!! I know what you mean. I felt the same way at the beginning and turned off my wall so no one could accidentally out us either.

    It is impossible to keep it a secret from the people who knew we were doing IVF, so we told the immediates and swore them to secrecy until we were ready to out ourselves.

    Of course, we couldn’t control everybody and was a losing battle to try to keep my mom from telling people, but we knew they did their best and that was all we could ask for.

    I felt just like you, I want to keep it a secret until he is born and then make an announcement of, “He’s Here!”…but I eventually became much more comfortable and even going so far as to post a few pictures of me with the belly on facebook and enjoyed the attention.

    Do it all at your own pace and enjoy it. You are doing awesome!

  5. I go back and forth on wanting to tell. Some days I want to tell everyone in my office, but some days I want to keep the info safe until I know everything will be ok (on the day the baby is born maybe?). I have told a couple of people and plan to tell people here and there over the next few weeks. Do whatever you want to do. I had a friend wait until 17 weeks to tell, but she had a tiny baby bump.

    As far as the belly goes, I’ve found that wearing a scarf really helps. I am more concerned that someone is going to accuse me of fashion scarf abuse, than guess my secret, and I’m definitely showing at 12 weeks.

  6. Yea on telling your family your great news. How exciting. I am the same way though. I feel like after I tell them I get nervous and sorta want them to forget in case something happens, which it won’t for the both of us.

  7. KHBetterTogether

    We didn’t tell family until I was 14 weeks and other people until I was like 5-6 months…once he was moving around like crazy and I was clearly preggo I sort of stopped hiding it. I totally get it, do it as you feel ready

  8. I totally know what you mean! I feel the same way, except I have some fear mixed in there as well and guilt for infertile friends that I may affect. I have always been fine telling strangers about our infertility, but discussed so little with the people I was closest to. It must be some kind of weird defense mechanism.

  9. Other than our parents & my sisters, I didn’t tell anyone until 17 weeks, after my amnio. I still feel like it’s not “really” going to happen at 34 weeks. take your time & tell people when you’re ready.

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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