Ha. Ha.

Wanna hear a joke? Leave it to a pregnant infertile to blow her nose and see a tinge of red on the tissue and instantly panic. And then she remembers it came from her nose, not her vagina. And calmness resumes.

Har-dee-har-har.

13w6d today. I have a date with two heartbeats tomorrow afternoon. I think I’ll get a peek then as well. 🙂

Still chickening out about telling work. Now it’s a sort of game. Like how long can I go? I know my belly has really popped but unless you’re a woman with pregnancy constantly on her mind, I don’t think you’d guess I’m pregnant yet. And I work with mostly dudes who most definitely do not have baby on the mind. Besides, the ol’ belly gets much larger at the end of the day and by then I’m at home. For now I’m enjoying my little secret. In meetings I sit all wrapped up in my pashmina, secretly rubbing the hell out of my belly. I can’t wait til the kicks start coming. It will definitely make meetings more fun. 🙂

[ TMI ALERT!!! Very embarrassing. ] (red and bold brought to you by Kristi 🙂 )

P.S. Anyone have problems with poops? I am regular but I think my problem is that my poops are too big and they hurt coming out! Sometimes I bleed a little tiny bit after. Ouchie! Any tips? I’m drinking a crapload of water and eating a very balanced diet, even sneaking fibrous leafy greens into my smoothies. I’m also drinking prune juice every night and eating lots of dried apricots. But still …ouchie! I will also ask the doctor tomorrow, but any advice you have is greatly appreciated.

12 responses to “Ha. Ha.

  1. Oak

    Stool Softener – or Prenexa, a prenatal with a stool softener in it. Highly recommended although embarrassing to buy. 🙂

  2. Did you really just post this? The TMI Alert should have been bigger font and bright red. I think you’re doing everything you can. Be grateful you’re having movements hopefully that means you won’t get hemorrhoids. Maybe your bum has just run out of space and it’s trying to squeeze the same size into a small tube.

  3. I love that joke! Too damn funny! Good luck at your appt. tomorrow! Ok, on the poop front…this is also TMI, but I had bleeding years ago (and still do occasionally) and after a colonoscopy was told I had internal hemroids. If you have a particularly hard or large BM it can make them bleed. It may be that or you may be tearing (sorry – yuck – I know this is a horrible topic!!)

  4. Okay, I’m totally new, so I feel awkward leaving a note. But here goes. I’m 7wks 5days along. And my poops hurt like hell as they pass through the intestines and push against my enlarging uterus. There’s just not enough room for them to squeeze by anymore. And everything has slowed down and hurts that way. My big secret is Miralax. Not a stool softener or a laxative, it just sort of breaks the poo apart. *Sorry SO GROSS* Don’t overdo it or you’ll be too runny, but it helps a lot with the pain. Embarassing to buy though… last time I had to buy it was for my dad, and I was also getting the stuff for 7 layer bean dip, so I went to the check out stand with Miralax, 4 cans of refried beans, a tub of nacho cheese, and some other stuff. I got some STRANGE looks from people. Haha. Good luck!

    • welcome and congrats on your pregnancy! and don’t worry – i’m not grossed out. i wrote about poop to start with! thanks for the tips. and now 7 layer bean dip sounds good. haha.

  5. Oh, honey. With the exception of a couple blessed days, I have been pooping lumps of coal for 7 months, and that only with help.

    I would add stool softener (colace). It’s the only way I’m not dying. Stave off the hemorrhoids!

    Can’t wait to hear your update!

    Oh, and of course you can repost! It’s YouTube! Go for it!

  6. KHBetterTogether

    Hmm my answer would be similar potential internal hemmi. That’s right we have nick names for them at our house, they got out of hand after delivery, but I am usually one or the other too hard or too soft. I hate it. No advice really except tuck pads soothe the pain

  7. what? constipation isn’t that embarrassing. just wait til you see my post about roids! i think your prenatal has 50mg of docusate (stool softener) in it. you can take up to 100mg 3 times a day (this is what old ladies do). i bought a bottle of 250 capsules for $5 at work in anticipation of such a problem since i had issues pre-pregnancy, but much to my surprise i haven’t touched that bottle! you can also add a teaspoon of metamucil if maxing out on the stool softener doesn’t work

  8. I think bloody noses is actually a pregnancy symptom. Sorry it freaked you out. I still check the toilet paper after I go to make sure everything is ok. I am no help on the poop thing sorry.

  9. newlife

    I’ve never had a bloody nose in my life but had them constantly during pregnancy. Don’t stress out unless the bleeding doesn’t stop. All I can say about poop is drink prune juice like water but be prepared for the consequences.

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Welcome!

After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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