Cluster F

And by that I mean cluster feeding. 🙂

These boys like to eat! I nurse on demand, and boy can they be demanding. Every 7 days or so since week 2, they’ve needed to cluster feed for a day or two. My body then goes into overdrive producing more milk to keep up with their demands. This means I have a baby attached to each boob for a majority of the day. I guess that’s why I have so much time to blog!

I do worry about my supply with two mouths to feed so I’m still taking herbal supplements and eating oatmeal. I’m just not one of those people who has an overabundance I guess. I just ordered More Milk Plus and I’m going to switch to that once it arrives. And the container of formula we bought when we first brought them home is tempting some days, but I’m really dedicated to exclusively breastfeeding. And along with that means being okay with cluster feeds.

Yesterday, day 2 of cluster feeding*, was particularly challenging. They slept for a 5 hour stretch Monday night which I very much appreciated (my boobs did not). They had a morning feeding around 8 and then again around 11. They nursed from 11-1 and then 2:30 on for the rest of the day. Sure, they caught a few winks while nursing and occasionally they’d nap for a few on my Brest Friend nursing pillow (so ridics for a product name, but I love saying it), but no real naps after 2:30.

Every time I’d have to get up to do something totally unreasonable like pee or get something to eat or drink, they would go into complete meltdown mode complete with signs of hunger. (I know I had milk because I was able to pump during one of their brief catnaps.) It broke my heart to hear them screaming so hard and looking hungry while I’m trying to pee as fast as I can. 😦

At one point – maybe around 4 – they dozed and I thought then would be the perfect time for a walk. I get them in the stroller and just as we’re walking out the door, screams. Poor babies! I knew they’d love it if we had made it outside but instead I took them out and back we went to nursing. We never made it outside.

Sure, it made for a very frustrating day. And yes, my nips are totally paying for it. And yes, it’s stressful and heartbreaking when they’re both freaking the eff out but at the end of the day these are my sweet precious babies and they won’t be this small for long. While they’re nursing, I try to soak up as much of them as I can through the closeness. I smooch their heads and nibble on their hands. I rub their heads and back and caress their hair. I inhale their milky baby smell. I listen intently to their baby sounds. I tell them stories. And when they’re crying, I just talk to them so they know I’m still there even though I can’t pick them up that very second (even though I would if I could).

Even on the challenging days, they’re still my little bundles of joy. I can’t wait for their first real smiles! My heart will just melt. Should be any day now.

* Righty was engorged starting Saturday night and we finally got it cleared up after day 1 of this cluster feeding session. Ouch!

6 responses to “Cluster F

  1. Cluster feeding is a BITCH. My guy did it for several weeks straight with no appreciable gain in milk production for me. Many, many tears. I know it has to be rough with double and trouble. Hang in there! And for sure enjoy the closeness!

  2. Omgosh, isn’t that milky breath/scent on them THE BEST?!?!?!?

    You are awesome!! I never EBF, but was able to supply exclusively breast milk from about 2 weeks to 10 weeks. Then had to kick in formula b/c they were eating so much. I think you’re doing AWESOME!!! Esp with all of those cluster feeds. Nice work, Mama!!! xoxo

  3. so happy that breastfeeding is going well! i hope i can EBF 🙂

  4. KHBetterTogether

    You are amazing

  5. sooz

    I know absolutely nothing about breastfeeding, but after hearing my friends’ nightmare stories, I am so impressed that you can successfully feed not only one, but two!!

  6. You’re a super star! I LOVED breastfeeding. It sounds like you have a fantastic supply! You’re such a great mama!

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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