My parents are visiting this weekend. It was an off again on again trip. It was off as recently as Sunday. I found out it was on again via my mom’s Facebook wall.

I found out that what I perceived to be my mother’s respectfulness during their last visit was a front. I knew it was too good to be true. On their last visit, they voluntarily made themselves scarce during naptime which was awesome for us because otherwise my mom talked to whichever baby she was holding NONSTOP so the poor baby couldn’t take a nap if his life depended on it. Plus, I needed a break since a bunch of adults just sitting around a NYC apartment is claustrophobic. I was thrilled that she offered to give us a break every now and then.

She recently told my brother that I kicked her out of our apartment several times a day so the babies could nap so she never got more than 1.5 hours with them at a time. WTF?! She OFFERED to give us a break each time. I never asked or hinted that they should go. I was surprised and thankful that she offered.

It’s like she’s holding her own actions and decisions against me. Like she knew giving us space was the right thing to do, but it totally went against her desires and it’s eating her up. She’s mad I didn’t try to stop her when she offered to leave. I think she wanted me to insist that they stay. Ridiculous.

I’m dreading this visit even more now. To top it off, they’re leaving the day BEFORE we move so they’ll really be of no help. Actually, they’ll probably be more of a hindrance. We’re hiring movers to pack the day of and move us, but we still have to prepare things and doing that with my parents sitting around won’t be easy.

I am really not excited at all. Plus my mom’s emotions are totally out of whack. She cried and hung up on me the other day (I called her; she only texts) because the boys might not remember her at Christmas. Umm, you’re right. They won’t. THEY’RE BABIES!

Ugh, please fast forward to next weekend. I swear my mom creates more stress for me than being a mom to twins, making a move, and gearing up to go back to work combined.

6 responses to “Ugh.

  1. Lisa

    OMG! Your mom is my step mother. You just described her to a t. I got a text today that said “we need to Skype soon or else she won’t remember me at Christmas.” That’s right. She’s 1 and she’s only met you about 4 times. Uggg.

  2. oh that just put me in a coma of stress reading it. poor thing. and given her nature telling her not to come will cause WW3. GOOD LUCK!

  3. (hug) i am having mixed feelings about my mom’s (and MIL’s) upcoming visits- i’m anticipating lots of moments of guilt trips, passive-aggressive disagreements, etc etc etc. alot of times i wish i was like most other women who just LOVE having their mom visit and their relationship with their mom is just perfect. but whatever doesnt kill us will make us stronger, isn’t that the saying???

  4. I am sorry. That is really rotten timing. I think that it would be completely reasonable to ask them to wait until after you have moved and then they can come over and see your new place once you’re settled. But, I am sure the previous commenter is right and it would NOT sound like a reasonable request to her. Well, I will be praying for you.

  5. Ugh is right for you. I am sorry your mom can’t be more support and a source of peace. You will be in my thoughts next weekend and may god speed.

  6. I do not envy you this. I have many of the same problems, and sadly, no solutions. Sorry.

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After nearly 3 years of TTC and the help of ART, we got pregnant on our 5th IVF/FET transfer after IVF #2. Our beautiful fraternal twin boys were born on 7/15/11 at 37w0d.

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