My Fertility

After a wonderful acupuncture session last Thursday, I left with a few helpful hints that I plan to implement starting now.

I need to stop thinking in “industry” terminology. No more references to infertility or measures in terms of success or failures. This is about assisted reproduction. My RE is helping us improve our chances of conception using advances in science. I am fertile. Just because I’m unexplained, doesn’t make me infertile. Trying to conceive with the help of ART simply gives us a little boost over what my body is able to do on its own. It’s still my husband and I coming together to create a new life. It just so happens that another man gets to take frequent peeks at my vagina. 🙂

Next steps:

• No more tagging or categorizing blog posts with terms like infertility and IF
• Talk more about my fertility, not lack thereof
• No more focusing on failures — just looking ahead to the new opportunity that each cycle brings

Another thing my acupuncturist mentioned was the idea of creating a “field of dreams” for my baby to be. She mentioned that she knew someone who made a quilt for their future baby. Creating something to symbolize and welcome your future baby helps you to focus on the positivity around the thought that one day — maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next month, but eventually — there will be a baby in your arms to cuddle and snuggle and smooch. I am working on some ideas. I’ve always thought I would like knitting or cross-stitch.

Lastly, I’ve been doing such a great job of building walls around me during this TTC journey, that over time I’ve managed to exclude many people who care about me deeply. Perhaps some of the important people in our lives should be included in what we’re going through. Maybe sharing our struggles and stresses with them will help us feel more connected and supported. Telling my friend last weekend was such a relief. Is my mom the next person to hear our story? I’m putting some serious thought toward it.

I feel like we’ve been at this long enough that I’m bound to slip up anyway. As a matter of fact, just last week I was discussing the flexible spending account offered by our insurance company to an employee and I accidentally called it the FSH program instead of the FSA program. Geesh!