Ouchie.

These are by far the worst cramps I’ve ever had. They come and go in waves, but there was one particularly terrible episode (like the hunched over kind) this morning. I’ve been wearing one of those sticky heating pads inside my pants since last night and it’s barely making a dent. All in all, it just seems like a rough AF. It’s easier to think of it that way, anyway.

I could have called in sick today but I thought if I did that I would just lay around in bed and dwell on the definiteness of the situation. And sitting around without any distractions would make me focus on the cramps even more, and it’s simply better to keep busy. However, if I still feel like this tomorrow you betcha I’ll be home.

I have acupuncture after work tonight. At least I have that to look forward to. It feels funny to have been getting acupuncture all these months to help me get pregnant and now I’m getting it to help me get unpregnant. Pretty contradictory if you ask me.

Also, I think I picked a bad week to start a detox. I could really go for a gigantic Jacques Torres chocolate chip cookie right about now. Or the limited edition pancake and bacon custard from Shake Shack. Or a Dairy Queen Blizzard (damn you NYC for not having any DQs!). Or an entire bottle of red wine.

Interesting PIO Experience

I had an acupuncture session Wednesday night and she did the same points that she did before and after the transfer. It helps “hold” the pregnancy. It also helps to calm me. I told my acupuncturist that I’m already suffering from pregnancy sinus issues like stuffy/runny nose and a plugged ear. She was going to do a point to help release my ear, but I asked her not to. I don’t want any pregnancy symptoms – even the tiniest ones – to disappear. I think I can really benefit from the continued support, so I plan to continue my acupuncture sessions throughout the first trimester.

On Wednesday, my session was rather late – at 8:30pm. You see, I try to do the PIO shots every day at 9am and 9pm. This can be quite restricting because it means my evening activities are limited. Want to go out to dinner or a movie? Nope, have to get home in time for my shot. Well since I was at acupuncture during my PIO injection window, my acupuncturist – who also happens to be a RN – offered to give me my injection. Having her give it to me meant I could have a little freedom! I could actually go out to dinner with my husband! Needless to say, I jumped at the chance.

She had me bend over the table and put my feet in a pigeon toe position. I hiked up my dress, and she did her thing! Haha, I think I would be more embarrassed but she’s been with me for every step along the way over the past 2 years so I don’t really care. She knows my inner most struggles, so why shouldn’t she also know what my butt looks like?! Haha.

Is It Thursday Yet?

I still can’t focus. I’m so busy at work, but I can’t seem to focus long enough to get anything done. This is worse than the two week wait!

One more day to stumble through before beta #4. Thankfully I have two things to look forward to tomorrow: my husband will be home in the morning and I have acupuncture in the evening.

I’m keeping a positive mindset because I AM pregnant and my betas ARE doubling, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to being somewhat nervous. I’ve never been this far and I’m deeply grateful, but I just need to see our lil one on the big screen before I can exhale.

IF really effing sucks because it really robs us of the joy of bring pregnant. I hope the remaining 8 months or so are less about getting to the next doctor’s appointment, and more about enjoying the changes taking place in my body. I’m ready to enjoy this.

Fingers crossed. Toes crossed. Hair braided.

Very Loved And A Little Bit Pregnant

Thank you for all of your kind comments, thoughts and prayers! I’ve been quite positive, but a little help from your friends makes it that much easier.

Sorry to keep you waiting with news on how today went! I was hoping to scan in the photo of our lil cupcakes but I guess I’ll have to share a pic later because I can no longer keep you in suspense. Today around Noon, two “perfect” blastocycsts were transferred to my cozy womb — which means I’m pretty much pregnant! The embryologist said one blast is about ready to break out of its shell and he expected it to start implanting tomorrow. We were relieved to hear that only two embryos were thawed and they both made it (I posted about this concern before)! We are extremely fortunate to still have 11 on ice.

The transfer went off without a hitch, except for that pesky tiny bladder of mine. I thought I was going to lose it about half way through the 30 minute post-transfer resting period. My husband did a great job distracting me while reading a menu from a new restaurant we want to try. He knew food would do the trick. Hubby also stroked my cheek at one point during the transfer, which was the absolutely sweetest thing in the world. He’s been totally amazing today.

I went to acupuncture before and after, came home, and parked it on the couch. I’ve been reading and chilling with my husband and cat. After the transfer, my acupuncturist said my pulse felt “expectant.” I’ll take it. 🙂

My beta isn’t until 3/30. Until then I will remain positive. I am feeling great physically and emotionally. I want to keep it that way. I will continue Estrace and PIO injections twice daily, as well as a baby aspirin once a day. I finished my course of Medrol today.

For now, I will enjoy how I’m feeling right at this moment: very loved and a little bit pregnant.

Thank you again for all your support, from the bottom of my heart. Xo!

Sensation of Calm

My acupuncture session last night was wonderful, but since on Lupron (and now that I’ve added Estrace to the mix) I’m hot as all get out. No, not sexy bitch hot. The omg! hot flashes! kind of hot. My acupuncturist did note that I had lots of signs of heat so she crafted the session around that. I have a few things that have been bothering me, which she says all point to the heat: hot flashes, waking up drenched at night, low grade headache, heart palpitations (I used to get these often due to stress), and constipation*.

She did points to address heat and these ailments specifically. The session was simply magical. Some points were very strong and one was even painful. I was very relaxed and immediately felt the sensation (not sure what else to call it) swell up in my core. I usually start to feel the sensation later in the session but last night, it happened from the get-go. It’s hard to describe, but it usually starts in my legs and comes up, chills in my core for a bit, and then moves up my neck and head. The sensation moves in waves over your body and it sort of feels like you have the chills, but you’re not cold. Totally weird and I’ve ony ever felt the sensation when at an acupuncture session.

The session really made me feel at peace and I think that’s a great sign for this upcoming FET cycle. There aren’t going to be any surprises this go around. Everything is controlled and thus planned. Planning makes me feel safe and calm. This is good. Very good.

As a TMI side note, I’ve been constipated (a sign of heat, according to my acupuncturist) for the last couple of days. I drank some prune juice this morning to help get things going and then I left for work. I thought with a couple days of constipation, the prune juice probably wouldn’t do anything so I was expecting another day of constipation. And then it hit me! While on the subway! I honestly wasn’t sure I’d make it to work! Whew! I’ll spare you the details, but I’m back to normal now. 🙂 Not sure if it was the acupuncture (she did some points to clear out my large intestine) or the prune juice, but it worked! Just a tip for those of you out there suffering from the same thing!